Lightening up…

This past week I’ve been home with the family. My baby’s very first trip to meet the lot. Was really looking forward to this one.

Let’s just say though that it didn’t quite pan out… oh well!

From the day I got here I knew something was off. To be fair, its largely my fault. Having seen my friends with babies slightly older than mine, I should’ve have factored in the anxiety towards strangers at this stage and the need for familiar surroundings. Should have also considered the possible teething…. Oh well, again! I didn’t, and here we are. She’s been whiny and clingy and cries more than I’ve ever seen her cry. The sleep issues I’ve had here with her put all previous experiences to shame! When I came here, things weren’t perfect but they were starting to get better. A friend and I talked about it saying, really, how much worse can it get? Much, much apparently.

So finally after much discussion and drama I’ve decided to go back to Dubai a week early. Do I know if these issues will get sorted out there? No. But I’ll be in familiar surroundings with her and my level of comfort with the situation is sure to have some sort of impact on her. Because, I bet, at this point, my stress about the way she’s feeling is doing her no favours.

So post decision and supporting operations, I had convos with the various members of the family who were meant to come visit and see the baby from other parts of the country, so they could cancel their plans. One of them is my aunt. And oh, what a conversation! Firstly, she was the only one who focused on me and said this must all be quite shyte for me, and I must find a way to relax. And then she told me a story to help me do just that.

First a little background… I don’t know if its common practice, but in my family, when babies need help to sleep, we pat them on the butt. A firm but gentle and rhythmic tap that seems to put them straight off to la-la land in the early days, and sends them there with some persistence in the later ones. Such was the practice therefore that my aunt and uncle followed with their little son (he’s now an appropriately cool 20-something-year-old so we’ll keep him anonymous ;)).

So apparently, they would sometimes ask friends over at 745 or 8 pm, which was just post his bedtime. One night, my uncle was putting him to sleep, when he was about a year and a half old. And perhaps, things weren’t going as smoothly as they should. So, my uncle, seeing his exit from the dark room, with non-sleepy child, getting further and further might’ve patted a little more insistently. My cousin, lets call him B, having grown up in Hyderabad was fluent even at that age in the Hindi dialect specific to there. As the patting got firmer and firmer, he speaks up and says ‘Halllu maro mia, abhi sote B’ – which loosely translated is ‘Ease up on the whacking dude, I’m trying to sleep quickly’. Really! He said that. And talk about a story that lightens the mood. Here I am 24 hours later, in serious danger of peeing my pants from laughing!

The lighter side of parenting exists. We just need to have someone point them out from time to time! And today as I fly my cranky, unwell child back home, I will be shaking quietly in remembered amusement.